our3minds - Having Better Relationships - by learning the Signs of the Zodiac

***Updated February 2018***

One thing that is true of all relationships - it takes time for us to get to know each other.

Do you have trouble understanding and relating to your spouse or maybe with family and friends? Maybe you are having difficulty getting along with someone you work with?

Most of us know the Astrological Sign for our birthday but not a lot about the traits that describe it. Even when we know the traits of our Sun Sign and those of our friends and family we often feel that there is something more that can't be explained by the Sun Sign alone. That's because our personality, the Energies and Behaviors that are in us, is ALSO being Developed from the traits we get from all of the Personal Planets:

Ascendant, Moon, Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars and the Houses they are found in - 12 Areas in all. But it is the energy and behaviors from the Lights (Moon and Sun) and Ascendant, that make up the strongest aspects of our Personality, and when we learn all we can about how Astrology works, then I believe it can help us to get a clearer understanding of ourselves and those we have relationships with.

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You don't need to know a lot about Astrology to learn about basic energies of yourselves and others. It can be as simple as just learning the Elements and Behaviors of the Signs we have in our 3 Guides.

Chart of the 12 Signs

Learning about the Elements and Behaviors can tell us volumes about the personalities that we are interacting with on a daily basis. When it comes to observing the traits of the people we know, I'm sure many of you have noticed some of the differences in the Energy they each may have. Some seem to have an unlimited supply of energy and enthusiasm while others are full of curiosity, always trying to figure things out. And you probably know people that can be very moody and reactive to the least little things that are said to them. All the Energies I just described can be easily recognized in the 12 Signs of the Zodiac and are known as the Elements: (Fire, Earth, Air, & Water). Each Element has a different Energy and Focus. Their traits can be easily remembered just by learning their names:

Fire: The energy from people that have a Fire Element is very much like that of a fire. Fire Signs have an Active energy, they are Adventurous and have a need to be always on the go. They draw their fuel from others so they will get excited to have others to do things with. Fire Signs can make an adventure out of anything and the Mix of other Elements in the person will determine how intense their energy will be. The Fire Signs are: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius.

Earth: The Earth Element is just like the Earth beneath your feet and people with this Element need to be rooted and unmoved to feel at ease. Their energy is Reactive and Cautious and they are more aware of how they fit into their surroundings. They are practical and patient and don't usually get very excited about anything. They use their energy to make Secure Connections (to see how things and people fit together) and they are driven to organize and structure our lives. The Earth Signs are: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn.

Air: The Air Element is like the oxygen molecules that are all around us and in most everything. People with the Air Element want to know everything. They have an Active drive to be Inquisitive about how things work and they will use their energy to dissect the whole into understandable parts. The Air Signs are: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius.

Water: The Water Element is just like the liquid that its name denotes, it will bond with anything and it will change, blending together. People with this Element are Reactive and Empathetic. They are Intuitive about the emotions that flow from others and they will creatively convey their interpretation of what they sense. They are reflective. The Water Signs are: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces.

What happens during many of our interactions with people of different Signs is that the Energy of the person can be misunderstood and that is usually enough to cause friction between us. For example the Fire Signs can be too excitable for the calm seeking Earth Signs and the Water Signs can be too emotional and changeable for some of the Active Signs. There is always going to be some conflict between the Elements, but how well we learn to get along with them will depend on how much you are willing to understand those differences. Its human nature to prefer to be with people that we are more comfortable with, so we may not always take the time to really get to know the depth of the character that is in others. Conversely, many people don't always show us the parts of themselves they are not comfortable with and many don't even understand what's going on inside of them: the Feelings, Emotions or even the Thoughts they are projecting.

If we want to have better relationships with our spouse, family and friends then we need to start learning who they are, from the characteristics of the Elements they have in them and then we should be able to finally understand what makes them act the way they do.

One problem many people have with others is that they don't really understand the Energy coming from the person because that Element is missing in them. For example, if someone doesn't have a Fire Element as part of their Signs then they won't usually be able to understand what drives the person who does. The Fire Signs' Energy can come across as selfish, full of its own needs; that is how non-Fire Sign people can perceive them. Each Element can be misunderstood but with time we all can learn to be comfortable with any other Element especially when we learn to have affection towards them. And please don't try to look at Compatibility as an excuse because with as many as 6 possible Signs and 6 different Houses, I feel we all should be able to connect on some level, either Elementally or through the Behaviors.

The fact is we gravitate to others with the same Focus of energy as we have. Fire feeds Fire, Air feeds Air and water and Earth mix well together. Even in the families, the parent and child with the same Element will make a strong connection to each other. The child will learn many of its characteristics from the parent with the same Element.

As we get more comfortable with our knowledge of the Elements and Behaviors we will understand many more things about why we act the way we do and why we can't have the same personality as others. Just knowing our Elements and Behaviors can make a big difference in how we feel about ourselves.

To learn more about the Elements and Signs.

We are the sum of all that is in us - our personality can be seen in the descriptive traits of the Signs we were born with.

When we talk about the types of Behaviors (Feelings, Emotions and Thoughts) that are in us, it all depends on the Mix of Signs that we have been given. If we have many of the Intellectual (Thought) Signs, we will approach life from an Objective viewpoint, not showing much Feelings or Emotions about the situations we encounter. If our Signs are mostly of the Feeling variety then we may find ourselves being too reactive to others and we may end up Feeling our way through life. As you can see from the list below, the Signs can also be grouped according to their Behavior:

The first 4 Signs (Aries, Taurus, Gemini and Cancer) have the Feeling or Sensitive Behaviors and they are more responsive to how they are being treated. Intuitive.
***They are the Feeling Signs***

The next 4 Signs (Leo, Virgo, Libra and Scorpio) have the Emotional or Expressive Behaviors and they focus on the Moment and are better at understanding relationships. Expressive.
***They are the Expressive Signs***

The last 4 Signs (Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces) have the Intellectual or Thinking Behaviors and they are concerned with Future possibilities. Comprehensive.
***They are the Thinking Signs***

From what I have learned from studying the Signs of the Zodiac is that we ALL may not have All 3 of the Behaviors in us. The Behaviors we do get from our Signs will determine what type of Responses we will have in our relationships - how Sensitive, Expressive, or Intellectual we are prone to be. For example, if we don't have one of the Signs that has a Thinking Behavior then we will be missing that Behavior in us and we will have trouble Connecting with that Behavior in others, it will be foreign to us. We Behave the way we do because of the Behaviors we start out with from our 3 Guides and our responses to life now are determined by how well our Behaviors have been able to handle the stressors of the environment we grew up in. To learn more about the Behaviors and Signs

We can learn a lot about ourselves by learning the 4 Elements (Fire, Earth, Air, Water) and the 3 Behaviors (Feelings, Emotions, and Thoughts) that give our personality its "color" but there is a lot more you can learn about the psychology of our 3 Minds. Like how the Signs exhibit different traits depending on which Mind they are in. Personality Psychologists say that man has 3 parts to our mind, they see them as Behaviors - Feelings, Emotions and Thoughts. I also believe that we all have 3 parts to our personality (which I see as 3 Minds) and that we can learn to clearly see them by the traits we get from our 3 Guides (our Rising, Moon and Sun Signs). Through effort you will be able to see how each Mind is at work in your day to day interactions with others and eventually learn how to gain some control over the parts that you may be having trouble with. Each of our Minds has a separate function inside us (they make up our Feeling, Emotion and Thought responses) and they each respond to life through the abilities of the Signs we have been given - that's why we all don't have the same responses to each event; we're built different. We each are born with a different foundation of Signs to experience life from and we will find others that have some of the same Signs we do but they more than likely would be in different Minds. It would be rare for us to find someone who has the same 6 Signs in the same Minds as we do - except for multiple births).

Our investigation into the inner workings of man's mind are rather new. Freud and Jung have been recognized as the founder fathers of modern Psychology and much of our understanding of the mind today has been because of them. I have learned a great deal from their theories but I also have learned that the experiences of our lives have a great impact on what we will discover on our own and for me I had a need to search and study the disciplines of Psychology, Astrology and Theology, trying to figure out my own Wounded Life. From them I have discovered that they are all hinting at similar ideas.

This chart will hopefully help you see some of the patterns that are linking Astrology, Psychology and Theology.)

	Our Feeling Side	Our Emotional Side	Our Thinking Side
Other Theories
FREUD	ID	EGO	SUPER-EGO
JUNG	SUB-CONSCIOUS	CONSCIOUS	SUPER-CONSCIOUS
PSYCHOLOGY	CHILD	ADOLESCENT	ADULT
THEOLOGY	NATURE (BODY)	SOUL	SPIRIT
My Theories
3 MINDS	CHILD	ADOLESCENT	ADULT
CONDUCT	SENSITIVE	EXPRESSIVE	THINKING
GUIDES	ASCENDANT (RISING)	MOON	SUN
FOCUS	PAST	PRESENT	FUTURE
RESPONSES	FEELINGS	EMOTIONS	INTELLECT
PERSONALITIES	PERSONAL	RELATIONAL	SOCIETAL
WHEN ACTIVE	Birth to 43.5 yrs old	14.5 to 58 yrs old	29 to 72.5 yrs old

Our Feeling Side can be seen through the traits of our Rising Sign. Astrology sites talk about our Ascendant (Rising Sign) as being the Personal area of the individual, the Face that others see, but also the side of us we like to hold back from others. They say it is the part of us that others don't get to talk with very often because it is our very private self, a part of us we feel we must protect except from those we feel close (secure) with. Freud called this part of us the Id and he said it was the child-like impulses in all of us. Jung called it our Subconscious, which infers a unknown part of us. I call this side of us our Child Mind because it is immature in its responses to its environment - it is our Subjective side, the part of us that Feels its way through life and it is how we interpret our environment. It's from this part of us that we learn to love, hate, fear, and have our need to belong. It's the part of us that pays attention to Past experiences and our memories from the Past get stored as Feelings in this Mind and we use the abilities of our Rising Sign to learn from Past mistakes. In the Bible it is called our Human Nature (our Flesh), the part of us prone to succumbing to our Feelings, good or bad. When it is wounded and damaged it can be the part of us that responds to others in angry, dangerous ways (devilish).

Our Emotional Side is Expressed through the traits of our Moon Sign. Astrologers say that our Moon Sign is the emotional side that allows us to Relate to others in our relationships. The Moon is reflective in nature, and, like the real Moon reflects the Sun's rays, our Moon Sign traits reflect the Behaviors and Energy from our Child and Adult Minds (the traits of our Rising and Sun Signs). This Mind is our Adolescent Mind and it is how we can be Expressive in social situations and it is designed to be our outward communicator. Freud reasoned that we also had an Ego part, which is the same as Jung's Consciousness. Our Ego is usually the strongest part of our personality, the part that needs to express its Behaviors more. This Mind is front and center of our being, it communicates the Present, what's on our Mind at the moment. God talks about this part of us being our Soul, the essence of our being and the eyes of the body are the window to our Soul. The Soul is the part of us that is developed from the experiences of the other two Minds and the struggles of life will determine which Mind we propagate the most of.

Our Thinking Side comes through the traits of our Sun Sign. The Sun Sign represents our will to live. Astrologers say it is the part of us that reasons things out and makes plans. Freud called it our Super-Ego, the parental side of us and Jung called it our Super-Consciousness. I call it our Adult Mind because it is the one in charge of the rest of our self, it uses thought to figure how to handle our Feelings and Emotions to specific events. This side of us is Societal focused and it sees life Objectively, having concerns for the whole of our Being and with it we get our Identity. It's job is to help us have a better Future. This is our Spiritual side and it is the part of that helps us see that we can make better choices - it is our conscience, the side of us that helps us to live above the hurts and angers of our Feeling side.

Our 3 Minds contain the character we have developed and what makes us different from others with the same Signs is how our Mix of Behaviors (Feelings, Emotions and Thoughts) and Elements (Energy) has responded to the environment (the influences of parents and friends) we grew up in. This is our psychological state of development. To learn more about Our 3 Minds.

What does it all mean to you and your friends? It is saying that in order to understand people through their Signs you have to be aware that the traits from a Sign will not be the same in the Adult Mind as they will in the Child Mind - the traits of a Taurus Rising are not going to present themselves the same as a Taurus Sun Sign because each Mind has a different focus in the psychology of the individual.
(See also the True Level of the Signs

Feelings

When Taurus is in the Sun Sign the individual will probably have thoughts about how to organized it future, it would be more practical in its choices and take its time to makes up its mind. The person may be more business orientated and have the ability to structure their workload better.

I'm also saying that our 6 Signs/6 Houses work together in us - they are not separate individual entities but that they work for the good of the whole, to get us through this life. The Mix of Signs/Houses in us will determine what areas in life we lean towards. If we have many of the Sensitive Signs in us we will present a more caring of others approach to life. If we have many of the Expressive Signs we, more likely, will have a strong ability to just yak about most anything. And if we have a preponderance of Intellectual Signs then our focus in life will be on the world at large and what we can do to change it.

With any person you can't rely on just knowing the traits from their Signs to get a feel for how they have developed because there are many other factors from their Past that have gone into shaping the character they are now showing. It is those unknown experiences from childhood and adolescence that affect many of the choices we are making today (an Alcoholic probably won't be able to succeed as well as someone not on drugs). We also have to concern ourselves with the psychological state of the person we are trying to understand - was there abuse, death of close family members, or parents divorced, in their past.

Anything from their past that has stressed the person is going to be reflected in their whole being and from my experience the people that have been Wounded by life more than likely will get locked into one small aspect of their personality, not able to utilize the rest of themselves simply because it takes a Herculean effort to escape from whatever imprisoned us in the first place. Someone like myself who has 4 Intellectual Signs and 2 Sensitive Signs may take decades to clear away the debris that has occurred from the Past. Sensitive Signs in the Child Mind have a way of getting hurt easier than if a person has Expressive or Intellectual Signs there - that is also one of the indicators of what responses the person may have gone through as they were growing up.

My own Signs and Personality are a good example of how the 3 Guides are represented in our lives.

I've always suspected that the Other 3 inner Planets (Mercury, Venus, and Mars) are involved in the development of our personality but until now I was not sure how. I've just recently figured out the pattern of how the Signs from these 6 areas Function or work together in us. To learn more about how we are built mentally

Seeing how you have been influenced by all your Signs/Houses will give you a clearer Picture of the personality you have developed and help you understand why you interact with others the way you do. You don't have to understand a lot about Astrology to be able to learn about the Elements and Behaviors of the Signs and you don't have to rely on someone else's interpretation of your aspects to see how your Signs have molded your development. All you need to do is find out what Signs you have, from your 6 inner planets and those 6 Houses. Then you can read and discover all you can about the characteristics that are found in you.

To learn how to find your Signs.

In Summary: The Mixing of traits in us may seem very complicated at first but if you will just start with the basics, the descriptions of the Elements and Behaviors, you will begin to see in yourself and others the Energies and Behaviors behind the choices we all make in life. This chart has many of the Aspects listed for each Sign. They are shortcuts to help you learn and remember what the Signs represent.

All of what you have just learned about our Elements and Behaviors can be found in our personalities and as we interact with others we are all "broadcasting" our traits through the abilities of our 3 Guides. Just understand that what makes us different from one another is the possible 6 different Signs combinations and the Experiences we go through from the Houses that have Personal Planets (Functions) in them. That is why we each appear so very unique. But may I say that with time your eyes will be opened to a whole nother view of the world. An Objective view of your fellow man.

As you get more comfortable with the Elements and Behaviors you can add another dimension to the mix - the Houses. The sequence is:

The Houses (with Personal Planets), give us added Experiences/Abilities that add spice to our lives.
The Personal Planets represent the Functions in us that are Colored by the traits of their Signs.
and Our Signs give us the Energy and Behaviors that indicate what type of person we will become.

Life is all about choices and what we choose is based on:
our Baggage; the traits of our Signs AND all are influenced by the Houses our Personal Planets (Functions) are found in.

*** As an added Note *** - I have realised that in order for us to bring together all the many layers of Astrology (Elements, Behaviors, Functions, Levels, Quadrants, Houses, Planets, and especially Signs), that I had to come up with a word that would include all the parts. I have chosen the word Realm because I believe that when I write something like The Earth and Water Realms .... , it will bring to mind that I am linking together all the similar parts into one group. When I talk about Taurus or Earth Signs my hope is that in your mind you hear me saying: Self, Ascendant, Reactive, Level 1, House 2, Quadrant 1. They all Point to what makes a Taurus like he is and I hope they will help you to see what I am refering to when I am laying out my ideas.

I believe right now you have a lot to remember but as it becomes second nature to your Mind then you will begin to see the whole as I do.